Living a Bohemian lifestyle (lonelynfading) wrote,
Living a Bohemian lifestyle
lonelynfading

Today was perhaps one of the better days I've had in awhile. The day began with the uncomfortable wake-up call of a dry throat. From there I proceeded to sleep lightly, waking up exactly 5 hours later and 2 hours before my true wake-up call. My stomach ached as usual. I thought if I practiced more, I wouldn't be so nervous. That was not the case. There was no peace to be had while shaking at the thought of those eyes fixated on my every move. I walked towards my fear with Munich playing in my head. My time had come. Lucky was I to be performing after such an amazing act. I was sent to clean up the leftovers and I wanted so badly to be the main course. As it turns out, I was not the main course, no, I was the dessert. I took a deep breath from my churning stomach and began. Never have I felt so close to someone else's poetry. I was inside Owen's head, seeing what he saw and feeling what he felt. I dare not look up at their faces, for they might see right through me and my shaking hands. I saw him drowning. I saw myself drowning. I was angry. I was sad. I was, scared. With the last word said, I closed my book and said thanks. Glancing over at my teacher, I was sure I had been the worst. He saw right through me. I know he did. Didn't he? Waiting means agony, and the air was full of it. He called my name and I received the comments I so dreaded to see. 200. 200 out of 200.

I have never been flawless. In this paper I can't help but think of the damage that my high school experience has caused me. This is the first time I feel like I have proved to all the people that doubted me, that, I can do it. I know now that all I needed was some guidance and a little direction. None of which I received from all my countless hours spent in drama.
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